Kupas Tuntas Tentang Kenikmatan Boker dan Ngupil
Boker dan ngupil adalah dua hal yang tidak terpisahkan dari kehidupan manusia. Secantik apapun dan seganteng apapun manusia, pasti pernah melakukan hal tersebut. Kedua hal tersebut berkaitan dengan kebutuhan dasar manusia akan kebersihan dan kenyamanan.
Mengenai masalah kebersihan, anda sudah pasti tahu apa sebabnya. Namun untuk masalah kenyamanan, pasti anda bertanya-tanya apa hubungannya, kan? Oke, apakah nyaman kamu bertemu orang dalam keadaan kebelet boker atau hidung yang penuh upil? Kalo merasa nyaman begitu, rasanya keadaan jiwa orang itu perlu dipertanyakan deh.
Boker itu nikmat dan indah
Tak ada orang yang membenci boker. Itu fakta yang akurat. Pengen tahu aja ada orang yang benci kalo mesti boker. Kecuali sih mereka yang lagi ‘terlalu lancar’ atau ‘terlalu macet’. Itupun bukan maksud mereka benci boker, tapi lebih pada benci akan ‘keterlaluan’ yang mereka derita. Nyatanya, ketika kebelet, ya mereka tetep aja ke toilet, kan?
Boker adalah sumber inspirasi
Secara pribadi (dan diakui juga oleh banyak teman saya), banyak ide yang datang ketika kita sedang boker. Tepatnya kenapa, saya tidak tahu pasti. Yang jelas berhubungan dengan ‘ketenangan pikiran’. Saat boker, kita merasa seluruh fokus dan perhatian tertuju pada satu hal ini. Biasanya dalam keadaan ini, otak kanan kita yang bekerja, karena kita tidak melakukan apapun secara matematis dan teknis. Ada nggak orang yang boker ngitung percepatan jatuhnya ‘bom boker’ tersebut?
Boker sebaiknya pagi hari
Kebiasaan saya pribadi, boker selalu setelah subuh. Dulu, cukup banyak waktu antara subuh sampai berangkat ke sekolah. Sekarang, ga terikat sekolah lagi, jadi ga perlu subuh-subuh bokernya. Kenapa baiknya pada pagi hari? Karena pagi hari otak kita belum berisi informasi apapun. Akan lebih baik boker di pagi hari jika anda menginginkan inspirasi dan ide-ide gila.
Tidak berbeda makna dengan boker, ngupil adalah satu bentuk tindakan mengorek keterangan kotoran dari lubang hidung dengan menggunakan jari tangan. Seringnya orang ngupil menggunakan jari kelingking. Hanya orang-orang aneh yang ngupil menggunakan jari tengah ataupun ibu jari. Kebayang nggak sih?
Ngupil itu nikmat
Ada kepuasaan tersendiri saat kita berhasil mengeluarkan kotoran dari lubang hidung kita. Rasanya sangat puas, seperti mendapatkan harta yang berharga sekali. Kalopun kenikmatan ngupil itu bisa dijual, saya akan menjualnya dengan harga ratusan juta.
Ngupil itu adiktif
Tidak semua orang sering ngupil, tapi yang ngupil biasanya mayoritas =)). Kebiasaan jorok sejak kecil yang tidak dikendalikan orang tua membuat seseorang mempunyai kebiasaan ngupil. Ngupil tidak mengenal status sosial lho, baik orang kaya atau miskin kalo kebiasaan ini tidak dikendalikan sejak kecil, maka akan jadi sangat terbiasa dengan ngupil. Dan karena ngupil itu nikmat, maka orang akan cenderung mengulanginya, lagi lagi dan lagi.
Ngupil sebaiknya di rumah/kamar
Memilih waktu dan tempat untuk ngupil adalah hal yang harus diperhatikan para pengupil. Tidaklah bijaksana jika kamu ngupil di tempat umum yang menjunjung tinggi kebersihan, seperti restoran misalnya. Selain memalukan, kita juga akan dicap jorok. 😀 Jika merasa upil anda sudah memenuhi rongga hidung dan membuat anda susah bernafas *lebay*, maka pergilah ke toilet dan tuntaskan nafsu bejat disana. Jadi ngupil lebih baik di private room.
Nah, demikian tentang boker dan ngupil. Saya tahu ini tidak bermutu, tapi cukup untuk bikin anda tertawa, kan?
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